I've been writing my book today and got a bit done yesterday. Yesterday was Saturday and my best buddy Bobby wanted to go out so I relented, and I had a lot of fun. Ended up going swimming for the first time this year at 4 in the morning. I drank too much though and am sick today. (PS. they say don't drink and swim, but if you're not swimming alone and you still have your motor functions then I would say it's alright. Never swim alone, ever. There are bodily functions that you are not in control of, and if something goes wrong when you're out there alone then you are dead. Just saying. Think about it, cause I know a lot of people do it.)
To be honest, yesterday I had some of the most eyeopening experiences of my life. Of course with all the book preparation leading up to the final moment it was an exciting time, but there was another thing that I thought about that really opened my mind and I have to get it off my shoulders because I think everyone should know this stuff. It's somewhat intuitive but I firmly believe this is one of the most important things I have come to understand, and something that you should know and take with you.
First of all, realize that I am in no way a "scientist", and that I do not have a PhD or any formal teaching.
What I wanted to talk about was sociopathy. I think that our genes define much of who we are and that empathy is evolutionary in nature (and is the most important trait we have from a moral and sociological perspective). Sociopathy is something that everyone should understand in some way or another. They do not FEEL. Sociopaths exist in the dozens. One estimate is that four percent of the population are sociopaths. They do not FEEL, and I think empathy is something that is so deeply ingrained in most of us that you could compare it to breathing. It's genetics. It is how your brain is wired. People who are sociopaths lack this.
Let me start by telling you about the taxi driver that drove me to the bar. We had a pleasant conversation about things that are really of no importance. The whole time he was looking at me in the eyes and would not look away. Know that the most sure sign to tell if someone is a sociopath is to recognize that their glance is steady. That they are not looking away when most people would. A good way to tell is if you are uncomfortable and feel like avoiding their eyes. Know that if they are not a sociopath, it does not matter that you suspect they are a sociopath. People make judgements all the time and this judgement could potentially save your life.
Bobby has grown up in bad areas. He's interacted with sociopaths on a hand-to-hand basis and has seen pedophiles at work. Let me say, without much knowledge of the term, that pedophiles almost always have sociopathy. Someone can be gay and someone can be attracted to children and there's even been cases when people have been attracted to cars and had sex with exhaust pipes. Now who knows if they're born that way or not, but what I'm getting at is this, and it's a distinction that should always be made: some people want help and the others are sociopaths. I'm saying that almost every child molester is a sociopath, most rapists are sociopaths, but not everyone who is attracted to children is a sociopath. Some of them actually want help and do not want to harm children: they have EMPATHY.
Know when you are dealing with a sociopath. There is a common misconception that sociopaths tend to be gay, or pedophiles. What I think is actually true is that there is a small group of people who get turned on by what, from lack of a better term, is unusual, that are also sociopaths. Everyone has sexual urges. People who are not sociopaths act on their sexual urges in relationship to their empathy. Someone who is not a sociopath can not rape someone in a clear mind without having empathy get in the way. Not that it is impossible, but it is extremely unlikely.
Why this is is all important can be really summed up in what Bob told me when we got into the bar. What had happened is the taxi driver stopped the car outside the bar for about 10 minutes talking to me, and Bob was in the back watching. I am extremely grateful that I have such a good friend as Bob and I don't know what would have happened if he was not there. The driver went out of his way to give me his phone number and said that I could call him whenever I wanted a ride.
In the bar Bob told me that he knows people like that, that these people are twisted, and that I should avoid this driver. In my mind I made a prejudgment that was not validated. And I argued with him for a few moments about this but the truth of the matter slowly became evident, and it was a thought that I couldn't stop thinking about for the whole night. Bob told me that the man was both looking at my eyes but also looking down at my pants. In other words, he was most likely a gay sociopath and I am not gay. The worst social situation you can ever be in is this: you are alone with a sociopath who is sexually attracted to you and you are not attracted to them. It's strange because, as I said to Bob, if I was talking to a sexy chick who was a sociopath, then the situation would be different. What you should know is that sociopaths exist around us and actually flourish in the world. What's sickening is that, because they want the same things we all want, one of them being synonymous with reputation, they will take positions of power with an iron fist and what happens is you end up with sociopathic doctors, politicians, teachers, you name it. This is the biggest threat to society. If you really think about it, this IS the threat to society. This IS why bad things happen. This IS why the ten o clock news coverage is fucked.
What to do with sociopaths is another issue. Sociopaths can have good relationships and good jobs. They could even have a job that benefits society in some way. They exist around us. It is not right to just say they shouldn't hold jobs or they deserve to die. There are sociopaths who are loved by someone who does not have sociopathy. This is just something that is true of the world. What is of most importance to all of us is how do you deal with offenders. But what's most important to you is how you deal with them everyday, and recognizing that they are out there. Screen and look for them. Be constantly vigilant. Sometimes you might think that you are being judgemental, but the truth is, if you know what to look for, they are extremely easy to spot. If you understand the condition this makes it much more easy.
However, we can learn from sociopaths. Understanding sociopathy allows you to live a more successful and happy life because of what they teach us. All day we wonder if people care about us. We wonder if people love us and we wonder if people are listening and we wonder if people are out to hurt our feelings and etc. Understanding sociopathy lets you understand that those who HAVE EMPATHY do CARE, that almost everyone you know does want you to be happy, unless you have disrespected them in some way or they don't like you. It makes you less socially awkward to be able to talk to other people without having to worry about this.
This should be taught by everyone, from self-help author to pick up artist.Parents should teach their kids this. Friends should teach their friends. Don't let someone go out into the world without knowing about sociopathy, because that may be the last time that they leave their house. This is something that is much too important to just say once in a blog. I will most definitely save this message and these words and I will tell those who I care about exactly what I have said here. If you care about your friends, you should tell them this message too. Honestly, if you ARE NOT a sociopath, you should spread this message. Everyone should know this.
Maybe even copy and paste this whole thing and send it to people and then tell them to buy my book. Because I want a reputation. I started this blog because I want a million dollars. Sociopaths want the same things that we all want. And, in all honesty, they are more likely to GET those things than other people. Sometimes those things are sexual in nature and are mutual, or involve situations that, just by pure chance, do not harm others. But sometimes people want things that others don't want, and society is constructed on the basis that some urges just can't be granted. Society is EMPATHY. Sociopathy is the complete antithesis to society. I can't think of much else wrong with society, aside from shitty rappers.
With all this being said, know that I want out of my day to write this, not just because of the fact that me writing this will bolster my own reputation, but also because this is something that people should know.
If you do not take this message to heart than you may have sociopathy. It is probably good to know if you have it or not.
Anyway, have a good day. Buy my book and listen to my music.
Ryan Hartigan.
